In Pursuit of Nuances

The Salty Letter.

Dear 18year old Stephanie,

I wish my 22 year old self could hold you and keep you safe.
I’m writing this down, crying after a salty day of work and no dance.

I wish I could protect you from the bitter chill of loneliness or the spite of despair. I wish I could protect you from lovers who’ll break your heart indiscriminately and the crippling worries, stigmas, after.

I wish I could forewarn you of humiliating injuries and lost friendships; the death of loved ones and your temporary inability to grieve will be maddening.  Silence is indeed deafening.

But it gets better.

You’ll find someone to reach out to after beating yourself up (or your best friend), verbally or physically. The perfect confidants will come at unexpected times, blessedly so. But it will get better. You might even get fired from your first show and stop dancing for a bit but in 3 years you’ll get every single thing you wanted back.

College is rough. Dancing in college is even rougher. It gets better.

Please remember that this is the time to find the intersection of your greatest passion and your greatest happiness.

Fuck standards.

Fuck meritocracy.

Failure, Courage, Passion, and Happiness; that is what matters. Remember Dance.

To Dance is to be Persecuted.
But that tangible bit of nirvana, bathed in honey, mint, salt, and light…will take you through.
It will sustain you beyond all powers.
Safeguard your love of dance.

Friends will leave, take up lovers, have babies, and find other passions. Even the well intended will sway you.

Safeguard your love of dance.

It took you this far, to declare a major in dance. Even if you decide not to go through with it, safeguard those moments of nirvana in every chamber of your heart. That is the most important thing I can tell you today, tomorrow, and for every day of your life.

That and you are a lot stronger than you think.

With gratitude and excitement to see the amazing human being you’re about to be,
steph

This letter is Dedicated to my loving Mom who always stayed, Michelle Ellsworth who always listened, Jadd, Anthony, Tara, Ashley, Mollie, and Deshawn who always inspired.

produu

2012 is a leap year.

Feb 2nd is the 33rd day of the Gregorian calendar. There are 332 days remaining until the end of the year. (333 in leap years)

Connection? 

I’m also turning 22 on 2/2/2012.  The 4-sec-stun factor is definitely there.

That being said, all of these numbers mean nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Birthdays are special to me because society sets aside a special day for every person to celebrate the fact that they are born. We are given this privilege of life and you’re reminded of it when you celebrate a birthday. The l

I used to be so upset on my birthdays because they’d prove to me that I wasn’t popular or well liked enough that people would take the time to celebrate my birthday. And again, it was such a family affair and I always felt safe, knowing that if my friends didn’t ‘care’ about the anniversary of when I came into existence, my family would. 

And true enough :

My family loves me so much it’s freaking unbelievable. I didn’t dare to open it tonight because I’m still in a daze from my minor concussion yesterday. Somehow I was coherent enough to notice this:

another parcel containing the above addressed to me..without the slightest hint of who the sender was. Mystery present???

So much to be grateful for but oh so much I miss. A lot of crazy things have happened this year…and I’m glad I am where I am now

Gotta love birthdays!

Why You Should Protest Against SOPA

At the heart of it, this act will censor the Internet and gives the US Federal Law enforcement officers permission to shut down virtually any website that they deem is infringing on intellectual property. A law that is far too vague and grants too much power to movie studios and record labels, the potential for abuse is enormous. The Internet was built on trust, not control. And SOPA will take all that away. 

For more info, check these out :

http://gizmodo.com/5877000/what-is-sopa

http://americancensorship.org/

http://voteforthenet.org